we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
