Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
