he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
