before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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