we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
