we have officially lost it.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
