Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
