:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize