shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
