So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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