He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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