he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
