I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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