hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
