I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
