it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
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