There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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