Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
