I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize