dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
