Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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