my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
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