Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
