Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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