She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
