Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
