The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
