He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You're a waste of cheezeits
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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