Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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