I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i don't like sucking hair
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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