Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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