So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
