My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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