I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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