The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
