I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
