haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
