ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
there is glitter all over my balls
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
