My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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