Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
