I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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