It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
