On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
