Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
