that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
