You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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