i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
