I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
