Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
