It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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