I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This baby is an asshole
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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