my vag is so smooth its legendary
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
