please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
