Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
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