The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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