see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
