I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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