What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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