if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I supernannyed him into submission
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
