At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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