just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
They took my balls.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
