the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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