I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
