People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
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