Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
