I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
