So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's blow job season.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
