Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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