We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
