You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
