Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize