Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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