i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
