How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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