Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
