Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
