I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
