I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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